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I'm Just Sitting Here Watching The Wheels Go Round And Round

It's April 11th.  I don't have my taxes done.  My yard looks like a war zone with dead grass, holes and ruts where the dead bushes were removed.  The house is a dusty mess.  I just threw away a container of mold with a few strawberries poking through. My granddaughter's birthday is tomorrow and I don't have her gift, much less have it wrapped, and I'm working until 10:00 tonight.  Then again, I also haven't shopped for or mailed an Easter present to my granddaughter in Korea, and that takes five days to get there once it's mailed. My taxes aren't done, the gas fireplace doesn't light, both garage doors squeal and I missed putting out both the recycling and garbage cans this week. The fence permit that took me two weeks to get to boro hall was just denied so I have to start over again.  I'm washing my hair with body wash since I'm out of shampoo and using my battery-powered toothbrush manually since the batteries died. I haven't written a word in my blog in over three weeks, AND DID I MENTION THAT MY TAXES AREN'T DONE???

I've hit a personal speed bump in my life.  While I always seem to have Superhuman endurance over the Christmas holidays to shop, bake, wrap, write, work and party, I've lost that lovin' feeling to do those things right now.  I make piles and don't purge, make lists and don't complete, buy food and don't eat it.  Even picking up the phone to call my friends is a challenge. 

When Wingman was alive, doing taxes was a way of getting away from the YES channel and endless hours of old Yankee games.  I would go to the office, take a month at a time, and buy twelve days of "Sorry, I can't watch Billy Martin's third, I don't want to watch the '77 Yankees beat the Dodgers-I know who won..."  This year, I ripped through 10 months before the W2's and 1099's came in, and then it sat.  Right now I'm kicking myself because the mortgage 1099 is missing along with Unemployment paperwork.  But I did locate the bill from my HVAC guy from January and got that paid.  If I were an accountant and had me for a client, I'd fire me.

For every Yin there is a Yang.  Wingman's domain was the yard, and he did a damn good job every spring with seed, feed, grub control, watering and all the other jobs that come with the color green.  While he worked on the yard, I would vacuum, dust, rearrange furniture, grocery shop, pay the bills, and keep the balls in the air inside.  Right now, there's no checks and balance system.  I wake up and think "I must get to the grocery store" but instead, I check Facebook.  Or play a game.  Or watch a repeat of Golden Girls on the Hallmark Channel because I've been too lazy to change the channel since Christmas.  As I drive away to go to work, I see the cinder block that's been next to the driveway since last year's construction and never moved, the leftover can of driveway sealant that never got thrown away and the garbage cans overflowing.

CNN reported that procrastination is inherited, so I can now blame my parents for that, as well as my big butt and small droopy eyes.  But it doesn't stop the fact that I have to figure out how to get off that butt of mine and get some things done around here.  Like vacuum and dust, and shop for those two little girls right now.

And get my taxes done.


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